Evolution

You are an evolved human being, aren’t you? Well, you’re reading a bog on the internet. That must count for something.

Your evolution into homo sapiens involves a myriad of elements that distinguish you from lower primates. One of these is the opposing thumb. Apes’ thumbs only oppose the first finger, whereas we can oppose our thumb to all of our fingers. The evolutionary advantage of such dexterity is that we are better able to hold a kettlebell.

What else sets you aside from the chimps and bonobos? Your backside. While most primates have gluteus minimus, and gluteus medius that work roughly the same as ours, when it comes to gluteus maximus, ours is very maximus and those of the primates is still a bit minimus. Basically apes have no arse. The huge size of our maximus, relative to other primates, is what allows us to function so well as bipeds, since this muscles not only propels us forward but also supports the musculature of the lower back. And this, dear reader, is why you absolutely must train with the king of gluteus maximus, the kettlebell.

Your eyes. So beautiful. And such excellent colour differentiation. Many primates are ‘dichromatic’ and do not distinguish between the rich palette of colours available to us humans. The evolutionary reason for this, obviously, is to be able to pick out the right colour-coded weight of kettlebell in the gym.

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